Good Lord man, you can write like a muthafucka. Unfortunately, this hits too close to home for me to properly enjoy it just now. I don't see why an upscale science and fiction magazine wouldn't snatch this up in a New york minute.
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Comments
reminds me of Phillip K Dicks style its good and i think if you keep it up you can somone hopefull publish a book
sweet damn of wow
Good read!
Labraxadores
Kinda liked this.
First, the writing style was very good. I personally don't understand the choice of French, but it is certainly an original twist. You used it scarcely enough to make the thing in general still understandable.
Now, the general setting. From what I got of the story, someone died. I suppose that it was Gwen, since the protagonist shouted for the console to shut off just at the part when the protagonist talked about the girl (woman?) dying. It is a rather original setting, at least better than most stories I see.
Second, the pacing. Not a lot to say, one could say that some more stuff could've gone about the parents, but I think that it wasn't what you were looking.
Overall, a good piece. Looking forward to see more.